Cheeku,
Tubby and I have been having conversations about you. Both of us, like everyone else, miss you and can’t understand why you had to go so young…The void we feel in our lives is so palpable. Every moment reminds us of what could have been, should have been…isn’t.
How should I make my heart to learn to accept that you have moved far ahead of us in your journey through eternity…that I missed the appointed time or that you chose not to wait? Even though grief fills hearts inner most recesses, should I think of you with sadness or with joy?
The twenty three years that you spent with us were more than a life time. You filled every moment with excitement and joy and then each moment became a year and then each year a life time. How many are blessed with the presence of someone as vibrant and filled with vitality as you? Am I not blessed to be your father?
For me even now, you are there. You are my elder son and Tubby the younger one. For Tubby too, you are his elder brother. And you are there for him when he needs you.
Recently I read this poem was sent to me by one of my dear friends:
Even in our sleep,
Pain which cannot forget
Falls drop by drop
Upon the heart,
Until,
In our own despair,
Against our will,
Comes wisdom through the awful grace of God.
Aeschylus
One would have to bow once head and accept. Surrender to that which is and cannot be changed…and live as one must till the end comes…
Love
Dad