Cheeku
Another year has gone by. There has never been a moment when you haven’t been with me; there has never been a moment when I haven’t sensed one space vacant next to me where ever I may have been…the space that should have been yours. The pain of your not been here with me remains undiminished. The words to describe that anguish, the longing for what ought to have been, yes the words begin to sound stale. The grief and pain is layered over within. Outwardly, the world moves on, within the pain continues to simmer like a fire that refuses to die down.
I see you every morning in the rising sun. The sunset brings you so close to me. I see you in the night sky burning bright-the brigthest star in the dark sky. I hear your voice in the whisper of the breeze. You are my son, and I am so proud to be the father of a son who has brought so much happiness to everyone who came in touch with him.
Sunny, your great friend and partner in law got married last December and we were there. Every moment of that happy occassion was full of you, Cheeku…and believe me, it wasn’t only your father felt your presence. Your friends who love you so much felt your presence in every celebration. Sunny himself missed you so much. And yet we knew how much Sunny’s marriage would have meant to you-and we celebrated it as you would have wanted us to.
Do you hear me, Cheeku? Do you hear me call?
I will be the answer at the end of the line
I will be there for you while you take the time
In the burning of uncertainty I will be your solid ground
I will hold the balance if you can’t look down
If it takes my whole life
I won’t break, I won’t bend
It will all be worth it
Worth it in the end
Cause I can only tell you what I know
That I need you in my life
When the stars have all gone out
You’ll still be burning so bright
Cast me gently
Into morning
For the night has been unkind
Take me to a
Place so holy
That I can wash this from my mind
The memory of choosing not to fight
Cast me gently
Into morning
For the night has been unkind
Yes, my son, cast me gently into morning for the night has been unkind…
I miss you…
Dad