Ani dearest,
On Monday I went for the third day ritual of Sankalpa’s cousin who had crashed in a car-three boys killed outright and only the young boy driving the car survived.
World’s collapse in an instant. The mother spoke at the end-bravely, I thought-of her 15 year old, loving, caring, poetic. Even recited his poems. I felt her own pain in my body-the wound never heals-all one can hope to achieve is a surface calm that enables one to conduct one’s everyday. The parents looked so battered by life as they stood at the gate of Veda Bhavan grounds with folded hands for the ashirvad of visitors. I had wanted to tell her, jo hain unke liye jina hoga. I learnt later, he was their only child.
The pandit who spoke at the Ved Sansthan helped me sort out something I had long struggled with. If it is the case that Ani has a new birth, how is it that I feel him around me, protective, a source of solace? Both are true states, he said. The first another temporary house for the atma, the other its permanent state. He who has been with you can never be away.
This is the week of your birthday and we must all be joyful as you would have wanted us to be,
love always,
Shail