Cheeku,
There is a thunderstorm brewing outside my window. Washington has been awfully hot and humid and this thunderstorm will bring welcome coolness.
It was another time. In 1994 we had all come to travel in the USA and both Tubby and you were so enthusiastic about everything. You were 11 years old, not yet a young man, not a kid either. That in-between state and that awkwardness only you could feel moving your lanky frame around.
We had stayed in the home of our dear friends Christina and Lou Warren. A beautiful house in the wooded area in Fairfax in Washington, both of you loved exploring everything around. But most of all the swimming pool in the backyard which had a slide that led straight into the pool.
That summer morning both Tubby and you got into the pool and started horsing around. Then suddenly you slipped and hit the deck. One of the front teeth broke and there was blood oozing from your mouth. You were so scared and I gently held you in my arms to comfort you, to tell you everything will be alright.
The day before yesterday, Christina picked me up and took me back to their same home where Lou was waiting. I walked through the backyard door and suddenly fourteen years just melted away. I saw you there Cheeku, all of 14 years old, riveted in one place, so scared?I wanted to run to you and hold you in my arms. Tears stung my eyes, Cheeku. I wanted you to be there. I wanted you to call me. I wanted to hear your voice?What kind of helplessness is this? I want to see you, be with you, hear your voice?why can?t I? Why?
There are strangers around. They ask me why I am going to New York. I tell them I am going to spend time with my younger son. They want to know where my elder son is. What shall I tell them Cheeku? How do I explain to them that I do not know your address? How do I make them believe that I do not know where my dear son is? How do I tell them that my elder son is traveling to places where I cannot reach him?
Why did you have to go so far away? Why? I never seem to have any answers.
Dad