Cheeku,
Gregorian chants are playing on the music system. I am sitting bathed in the golden light of the room doing nothing. It is a working day, but I am disconnected with the day. Or for that matter with the place. It is the sound of the chanting that envelops my senses and I see you dancing and laughing, riding the chariot of the gods across many heavens.
On earth you would have been twenty nine years old today. “A grown up man!” we would have teased you. “growing old!”, we would have pulled your leg. And your booming laughter would have rung out, filling all empty spaces as your mind would have raced from one prank to another that you had to play on your friends.
We long for what was, what could be…you have gone beyond any longing and wanting. But I am sure there would be times when you would miss us too, wish you were here with all those who love you and whom you love.
So today, I wish you eternity Cheeku. The joy and peace of eternity of being with the One. That you would truly say to yourself “Aham Brhamasmi”!
And for us it would be another year with you, without you…
Perhaps not to be is to be without your being,
without your going, that cuts noon light
like a blue flower, without your passing
later through fog and stones,
without the torch you lift in your hand
that others may not see as golden,
that perhaps no one believed blossomed
the glowing origin of the rose,
without, in the end, your being, your coming
suddenly, inspiringly, to know my life,
blaze of the rose-tree, wheat of the breeze:
and it follows that I am, because you are:
it follows from ‘you are’, that I am, and we:
and, because of love, you will, I will,
We will, come to be.
(Neruda)
Love you
Dad