Cheeku
I woke up this morning as the red glow of the rising sun spread thin all over the sky. It is summer. Koyal is cooing outside the window, heard…so loud and so melodious, but unseen. Like a wish unfulfilled. Three years ago, on this day you decided to leave on a very long journey. And each year seems like just yesterday. There is hollowness in my heart. The vision gets blurred now and then. It’s like mist on a sunny day.
I select my clothes carefully. Cheeku would always want his dad to look spiffy. A bit of a dandy. I wear a smile too. I cannot wear my weeping heart on my sleeve. Cheeku would say it is not elegant. Dad, boys don’t cry. I must face the world as if it is just another day. I will pretend. Once you had told me: ‘Dad, you are like God to me!’ I am a God with clay feet. For if I was God would I have let you go?
Your friends Abhishek, Gaurav, Venetia, Cally…all of them call; Tipsy, Diva, Tintin…Karishma, Deepesh…Freyah…they all surround me with their love and care. Your kid brother, who always exasperated you, who you would always pull into whatever you did, is now a man…silently he steadies me, even from a distance. They love you and I can see your love radiate in them. I feel blessed. I, your father…I am blessed because you are my son.
Life just is. How else can I describe how I live each moment? How I survive the pain and longing within? How else?
Dad